The title is the shortest but clearest explanation of my opinion.
You should be able to assume the tone of the rest of this blog. You've been warned.
So, I was watching the Today show yesterday morning, and the newscasters were talking about driving statistics.
They reported that statistics say that while women take much longer to park their cars, they park better than men. I laughed. Out loud. A few times.
Ladies, if we're honest with ourselves, we should be able to admit that men are absolutely better drivers than women. Although we are pretty fantastic at multitasking 90% of the time, women operating heavy machinery+ multitasking [applying makeup, talking on the phone, changing the music, eating, following maps/directions/GPS] = TERROR IN THE HIGHEST DEGREE.
For whatever reason, men seem to be much better multitaskers when it comes to driving. They just seem to have better control of the car, and more focus... I think their "waffle box" compartmentalization skill comes perfectly in handy while driving. They can do different things, none affecting the other.
Plus, they are better at gauging distances, space, length, and other spatial elements.
Not ALL men, of course. Just like not ALL women are bad drivers. Just, to me, the majority of men drive better than the majority of women. There. I said it. And I stick to my guns.
That's just my opinion. But AS SOON AS these statistics were read, one of the female interviewers/interviewees [hell if I know, I wasn't paying attention until she flipped her lid] practically screamed, "YEAH! We know women are better drivers than men! Women actually pay attention to what their doing, and pay attention to other people! Men just zip around, pulling too quickly into a parking spot, not even noticing that people are nearby, like they own the roads. Women take their time, they're careful, and they park much better & much straighter than men."
I MEAN, DUDE.
It might not sound so intense in printed word, but check out the clip from yesterday's 9am segment. She totally tripped me out. I mean, jeez... It was like she was passive aggressively attacking an ex-husband for not paying attention to her, being brash, being indifferent, and being a straight-up jerk.
And then I thought, "What the heck, man? We're talking about driving... Factual STATISTICS... Why does everything need to be a contest?"
Why must we so often jump to the refrain: Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you!
It's all cutesy fun& games when it's sung in the background of a Gap commercial, but when it's said/intended seriously in real life, it's just plain antagonistic.
I saw an episode of "Chopped" a month ago, and one of the aspiring chefs was telling of her dreams of winning the round and the show, in order to prove that men are not the only ones who are talented in the culinary world. The way she said it was very kind; almost sad or wistful. She sounded and looked discouraged, and just wanted to get her big break and make a name for herself, so she could use the money to continue in culinary school& develop better opportunities. I liked the girl. She said what she felt, and she said it kindly.
Not bashing anyone, not putting the blame on another person or people group-- just expressing her opinion.
I know in the cooking world, there are about as many male chefs as there are women. Whatever. I don't care to talk about cooking; I'm just saying the playing field seems even.
However, I do know that often-- still, even in the 21st century-- women's wages are lower than men's, for the same hours working at the same job. In many professions, women seem to hit a glass ceiling.
It is NOWHERE near as bad as it was back in the 40's, when women started working in factories to replace the men who had been drafted for WWII, but the fact that a glass ceiling still exists is a shame. All men were created equal, right?
The glass ceiling women face can be seen as an effect of chauvinism. The stupid stereotype of cute little secretaries in high-fitting, low-cut, high-slit outfits serving a big wig CEO hand-and-foot is chauvinistic. It portrays women as nothing more than eyecandy: a pretty face with a nice body, a lot going on below the shoulders, but not much at all going on above them.
AKA, women are often portrayed as brainless, ditsy, incapable girls who just don't have a clue.
That's a shame. That's chauvinistic, and it's not giving women credit for being intelligent, capable, problem-solving, diplomatic people who are capable of professionalism & creativity.
Women bring a lot to the table... and not just a plate of fresh-baked brownies or homemade pot pie.
HOWEVER---
There is also a very huge feminist uprising that began in the 1960's, and has hardly lost steam since. When men came back from the war, women thought, "Hey... We did a damn good job at running things ourselves... We can wear pants, we can work, we can earn money for our families, and we can make our own decisions."
That realization wasn't intrinsically bad. Not at all. I wear pants. I work. I earn my own money. In line with Scripture & seeking God, I make my own decisions. Nothing wrong with that. But what came afterward-- the entitlement attitude and the oh-so-popular song by Irving Berlin-- is what really shot us all in the foot.
Now we see reruns of shows on TV like King of Queens and Everybody Loves Raymond depicting men as idiotic slobs who can't even get a microwaveable meal right. They show the wives to be the domineering [although there's nothing attractive about rudeness or condescension] & the men to be softies and mama's boys who can't take care of themselves, let alone their own families or children. And it's a shame.
My dad isn't like those men on that show. I have several friends/family who are incredible husbands/fathers/sons, who lead their families, who are the head of the household, who make good, strong decisions that are best for the interests of the entire family.
Yeah, a lot of men these days don't know how to be good husbands or fathers. The going gets tough, and they peace out. At the same time, a lot of women don't know how to be good wives or mothers. They get offended, and they shut down, become passive aggressive, or ditch the passiveness and become just plain aggressive.
In the same vein, oftentimes we [men AND women] don't act the best in our relationships with parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, strangers, classmates, roommates, etc.
It's not just husbands& wives who get it wrong.
WE. ALL. GET. IT. WRONG.... SOMETIMES.
Disclaimer:
I'm speaking in general terms here, okay? When I say "you" I don't mean "you, personally"... I don't even know who the heck you are. I mean men& women as a whole... But, again, note the SOMETIMES. We don't all screw up all the time. It's just that we're capable of being very shaped by our society and our media. We're products of many influences. I'm just saying my opinion is that we break those influences and go back to Jesus and the truth of the Scriptures.
And you know what the Bible says: Love others.
Love as though your life depended on it, because love covers a multitude of sins.
Love without expecting something in return.
Be patient. Be kind to others. Speak the truth, but speak it with love.
Look for ways to help people out& to put their interests first.
When someone wrongs you& you want to punish them for it, realize that your Father in heaven forgave you, because Jesus died for your sins, and came purposely to save you... That should get the thankfulness vibes flowing.
Honor others. Obey authorities. Respect your parents and your elders.
Search out people whom you can serve& provide for. Take care of widows & orphans.
Give. Clothe the poor, and give them food& something to drink.
Sooooo... Why don't we do it?
Why do we have to be so against gender differences? There is no need to jump on someone's case because they say men are generally better drivers, or men are stronger. There's no reason to get mad because women are more thoughtful& organized& detail-oriented.
We don't need to stereotype people.
People shouldn't make fun of a guy who knows how to cook and do laundry and has a good relationship with his mom... Those are GOOD things [Belieeeeeeeeeeve me, men... Women find those things attractive]!
Also, I think it's silly when people think I'm weird for liking loving football, and war movies, and not liking pink or appletinis. Do you see how stupid these stereotypes are?
Stereotypes are lame; gender differences are not.
Women: Cook. Bake. Clean.
Men: Work. Fix. Lift heavy things.
If you don't fall into those categories, it's fine! They are commonalities, not hard-lined rules.
I know women who can't bake worth a darn, or who seriously hate cleaning. So what? I know guys who don't have a Mr. Fix-It bone in their bodies. Cool. That's fine. It's not of extreme importance, anyway.
These are physical traits/habits that people generally see as manly or girly.
What is truly different about men& women is how we're wired.
I laugh out loud sometimes, because I visibly notice my dad check out when I'm telling me a story. If he asks what I did today, he wants to know just that: I went to coffee with a friend, I got my oil changed, I went to the grocery store, watched a football game, and made dinner.
He wants to know how much I paid for my oil change, who won the game, and couldn't really care less about what I made, as long as it's edible.
My mom, on the other hand, asks what I did today: She wants to know who I went to coffee with, how it was, how they're doing, was it good to see them, and did I try that new drink at Starbucks? She wants to know if I got my oil changed at the place my dad always goes to ["What's it called again? That one by the antique store....?"], she couldn't care less about the game, and she wants to know what I made for dinner, how I made it, which spices I used, and we talk about food for awhile.
SO DIFFERENT.
Sometimes I notice myself telling my dad waaaaaaaay too many details that I know he couldn't care less about, and realize, "Whoops! I'm going all 'spaghetti' on him! He wants to know bare basics."
When men tell a story, they often describe what was said.
Women tell exactly what he said,what she said, how she looked at me when I said it, what I thought when she gave me that look, wonder if someone was offended during the course of the conversation, and usually think about the conversation for hours after it happened.
We. Are. DIFFERENT.
Now, I have a [guy] friend or two who think almost exactly the way I do. They're not girly, and I'm not manly. But we just share the same brainwaves or something. However, I still notice that in sharing similar minds & thought patterns, I think much more about opinions/emotions/motives, while they think more about actions/reactions/ideas.
So, ALL that spaghetti-brained-ness aside: What I'm saying is, if men and women are so different, why don't we try to work together, as opposed to polarizing ourselves and saying, "No! You do it wrong! I do it right! Anything you can do, I can do better!"
Why must we live in a competition? If men & women so different [and by "if" I mean "since"], then why don't we realize& embrace it, and look for ways to complement each other?
Since we're different, we can't ever expect to all be exactly the same, nor should we aim to.
It would be strange if people were all asexual, weirdly-similar creatures. We were created with differences... For a PURPOSE. You know the phrase "opposites attract"? It's not always true. But often when opposites attract, it's because what one lacks, the other supplies. If one person is super into being the center of attention& really loud, the other person is often more reserved& cool with doing things in the background.
Can you imagine how terribly obnoxious it would be to have TWO people vying for the spotlight, trying to one-up each other in decibel levels? Yuuuuuuuuuuck.
Why can't it be the same between men & women?
We have so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so many differences. SO many.
Instead of butting heads over "men are the superior species" or "men should worship the ground women walk on", can't we all admit that one of us would exist without the other? I mean, it's biologically impossible. I'm not saying "Women, you best go find yourself a man, because you're lost & worthless without one!"
I mean, DUH. NO.
But if men& women weren't creating babies, we wouldn't be around to have this conversation. If we depend on each other to be born& exist, why not work together for other stuff?
My last boss is one of the best bosses I've ever had. His personality is really easygoing, but when it comes to work, he's down to business. He's got a list of things that need to be done, lists of people to call, and deadlines of when things need to be paid or completed by.
Perfect. My personality meshes well with that. I'm also easygoing, but when it comes to work, I need a plan of attack. I need ideas, and I need to have some direction, so I can have a point to start from & run with it. I'm very much detail-oriented, and I like having things squared away, and checking items off my to-do list. My boss was very directorial [in a good way], and I am very responsive to that. Some people might think, "Why is he bossing me around? Why can't he do it himself? Why can't he make his own phone calls?"
I realize: "This is my job. This is what I'm getting paid to do, and I need to do my job well so he can do HIS job well."
That is just a simple example of how two different people with different strengths can work together. There is a difference between being bossed around [in an insulting way]& being given directions.
There is ALSO a difference between someone saying, "You're a woman, so you should be working in the kitchen, not in the military." and someone saying, "You're a woman, and you may not be as physically strong& big as the men, but you deserve to be here and you're kicking butt and getting the job done."
Women are NOT as big& strong as men.
Men are NOT as nurturing & organized as women.
SO WHAT? Our identities are not in how much we can bench press, or whose cooking is better, or whose IQ is higher, or who has better budgeting skills.
Our identities are in Jesus Christ. God made us different, He made us unique, and He made us with different talents& strengths, so that we could work well with others and complement each other well. There are billions of people in this world--- how insanely boring & unwise would it be if we were all exactly the same& had the same strengths and weaknesses?
We'd be a bunch of clones, and there would be no room for creativity.
We'd all have a specific set of strengths, and the other areas of life would be neglected.
Embrace your strengths.
Embrace gender differences.
Embrace individuality& creativity.
Realize that God made you perfectly... He did not create us out of cookie cutter designs, but He formed our inward parts. He formed our minds, our thought processes, our penchants for certain interests, hobbies, or pastimes. He created us with certain talents, and He created us to be relational beings, who live with others in community& share our lives with them.
So... Share them.
If you're a woman who likes working on cars, or a man who excels at baking, that's awesome. Do it for the glory of God, realizing He is the one who gives gifts& talents.
Don't look at people's differences and attack them for it.
Learn the beauty of individuality, and how you personally fit into it.
And, while you're at it, pick up a sociology book. Egocentrism& ethnocentrism are deep-seated in pride, and pride is a vicious sin that not only wrecks us, but damages those around us. Every single people group... every single culture... every single PERSON deals with both egocentrism and ethnocentrism. We're human. We're imperfect. But that is not an excuse to live our lives in this way. We need Jesus, and we need so much more of Him, so He can truly live through us in every capacity, no matter our surroundings.
May we all find our identity in Christ& learn to be more like Him, to love with His heart, and to live in a way that deeply glorifies Him, as we truly learn to work together like the Body He has created us to be. He is our example; He is our teacher.
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