Father, THANK YOU. Thank You for loving me. thank You for calling me Your own and for calling me by name!! Thank You that Your thoughts toward me are precious and innumerable. Thank You that they’re of peace and not evil, and that You have a plan for me—to give me a future and a hope! Thank You that You shelter me, protect me and cover me. Thank You for healing my backsliding & for calling me, even when I did not hear. THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO FIND YOU, EVEN WHEN I WAS NOT SEEKING YOU!!! Thank You for being my Provider, in every area! You provide shelter, food, clothes, work, and every material need. You provide love, compassion, strength, excitement, comfort, joy!!, companionship, close relationships with family & friends, and every emotional need.
You give me love, hope, joy. You bring restoration. Most importantly, You gave Your Son Jesus Christ to redeem me—and by His death, I am covered by His blood and by His grace. You have allowed me to be set apart. You have done the impossible in giving me new life. You erased a debt that I never could have paid. You rescued a life that was lost & worthless—and definitely not worth saving. You took my aimlessness & have given me purpose. You have taken my wicked heart and You are continually emptying it to make room for Your desires. That is something I could not & would not do on my own, and You deserve the glory, Lord!
God, when You saved me, I truly was drowning. I seemed happy, but I have no real source of joy. I was made happy by circumstances or people, but once those were done or gone, I was left empty and lonely. I had no hope, no drive, no purpose for my life. I had no direction and wondered if ALL of life was as monotonous as it seemed. I wondered how long I’d be here, trying to find my way, trying to plan my future. And I was afraid of what would happen if I failed…or what would happen if I “arrived”, only to find more monotony. I felt like a failure at that point in life—and I was.
I felt like a waste of space. I hated the thought of living a life full of vanity: working hard to get somewhere, only to find that fulfillment or joy or satisfaction WASN’T on the other side.
BUT when the kindness and love of God our Savior toward men appeared, not by my righteousness or anything I’ve done, but by His mercy, He saved us!! He saved me.
Lord, it is Your kindness that leads to repentance! Thank You for seeking me & for calling me to Yourself and for extending Your grace to me. Lord, I’m sorry for denying it so many times. I’m sorry that I worried about what my friends would say or what people would think if I raised my hand or went forward. I’m sorry that I looked at a relationship with You as “things I had to give up” rather than realizing all of the fulfillment & completeness that You bring!!
I’m sorry for waiting so long, and for being SO close many times, only to say, “Not today. I can’t do this today.” Jesus, forgive me for valuing an empty life & worthless “fun” over Your precious blood! And thank You for not giving up on me!!!!Thank You for not rescinding that offer! Thank You for pursuing me with Your persevering love!!! Thank You for being longsuffering. Thank You for removing my cold, lifeless heart of stone & for replacing it with a living heart. Thank You for enabling my heart to love! Thank You for taking me from a life of being tossed around, and for planting my feet solidly on You—thank You for being the Anchor to my soul! I used to live such a confused life with no sense of purpose—thank You for giving me Your word and for giving me understanding of things that I’d otherwise be incapable of comprehending!!
Through Your Word, You give me hope, You show me my purpose, You show me Your plan. You show me the worth that I have only when I am firmly planted in You & abiding in You. You give me strength & encouragement to press on. You show me Your grace & forgiveness and Your heart of pure love. By Your Word, I am confident of who You are. I am confident in who You are making me, because I know You are molding me & changing me, and sloooooooowly but surely challenging me to have a mind like Christ’s.
Thank You that my life is hidden with Christ in You & that my identity is in You!
Thank You that I am no longer my own, because I don’t like who I was.
But I am excited to see what will become of me, not by my works, but ACCORDING TO YOUR MERCY! Thank You!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
The Wonderful Cross.
When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die, and find that I may truly live
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
All who gather here by grace draw near and bless Your name
I cannot comprehend the Love of Jesus Christ. It escapes my understanding, because it defies human ability. Jesus has loved us ALL to the point of death. He has loved us to the point of suffering, and He has loved us to the end.
I have done nothing to deserve Jesus. I have done nothing to deserve His love or His forgiveness or His redeeming blood. I am unclean, unholy, unworthy. I am not a logical candidate for His love. I am not eligible in any sense. I don't deserve Him, I never have and I never will. He deserves SO much--- so much more than I can give! He deserves a Bride who is pure, beautiful, spotless, blameless, whole, and perfect, with a gentle & quiet spirit. I fall short in every area. I know that in me [that is, in my flesh] NOTHING good dwells.
But PRAISE JESUS for the cross!!! Praise Him that, by it, He calls me to come to Him and die to myself and, in that, to find true, abundant life. In dying to myself, I find that true & full life is possible!
But I am able to draw near in full assurance by faith, because of His grace and the barriers that He has broken down by His blood. I have been given so much more than I deserve, and have been filled with far more than I am worth.
Within the last week, and especially in the last few days, Jesus has been showing me my tendencies. So often I try to come to Him on my own terms. I try to do things my way, by my strength. That is foolish, because I am SO weak. I try to love others with the capacity of my own heart. Not only is my heart human & restricted, but it is wicked & deceitful--- why would I ever want to try to love someone in the ability of my imperfect heart? Jesus shows me daily that I need to remain in Him; to be constantly abiding in Him, that I may not be unfruitful! I need to be filled with Him, always. I thank God that He continues to empty me of myself, and to strip me of those evil things which remain in my heart... the uncleanness, the selfishness, the pride, and the desire to do things my way, on my own.
Jesus is the only one that I don't want to be independent of!! Yet, if that is the case, why do I try so often to pull away in order to try to show Him that I can stand on my own two feet?
I stumble, I fall, I fail.
I get so focused on the things around me that I don't realize I am falling or drowning. Its as though I'm trying to show Him, "See? I can do it!", thinking that He will be proud of me.....but I seem to forget that He calls me only to abide and to yield and to remain moldable in His hands. And the attempt to be "self-suffiient" or to find my own way accomplishes nothing more than breaking His heart.
Jesus, forgive me! Please help me to remain feeble & weak in myself, and in the palm of Your hand. May my only strength and only sufficiency be found in You & maintained by You. I want only to be able to stand in Your true grace, and to stand by faith.
Like Romans 14:4 says, "Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand."
Jesus, You are the ONLY one who is able to keep me from falling!! Please help me to be independent from all other things: from people and other 'stability' that I may seek. Help me to be fully, wholly, completely dependent on You. Lord, help me to rid myself of every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares me, that I may run WITH ENDURANCE the race You have set before me. Thank You for Your cross, Jesus, for Your blood, and for Your great Love!
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die, and find that I may truly live
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
All who gather here by grace draw near and bless Your name
I cannot comprehend the Love of Jesus Christ. It escapes my understanding, because it defies human ability. Jesus has loved us ALL to the point of death. He has loved us to the point of suffering, and He has loved us to the end.
I have done nothing to deserve Jesus. I have done nothing to deserve His love or His forgiveness or His redeeming blood. I am unclean, unholy, unworthy. I am not a logical candidate for His love. I am not eligible in any sense. I don't deserve Him, I never have and I never will. He deserves SO much--- so much more than I can give! He deserves a Bride who is pure, beautiful, spotless, blameless, whole, and perfect, with a gentle & quiet spirit. I fall short in every area. I know that in me [that is, in my flesh] NOTHING good dwells.
But PRAISE JESUS for the cross!!! Praise Him that, by it, He calls me to come to Him and die to myself and, in that, to find true, abundant life. In dying to myself, I find that true & full life is possible!
But I am able to draw near in full assurance by faith, because of His grace and the barriers that He has broken down by His blood. I have been given so much more than I deserve, and have been filled with far more than I am worth.
Within the last week, and especially in the last few days, Jesus has been showing me my tendencies. So often I try to come to Him on my own terms. I try to do things my way, by my strength. That is foolish, because I am SO weak. I try to love others with the capacity of my own heart. Not only is my heart human & restricted, but it is wicked & deceitful--- why would I ever want to try to love someone in the ability of my imperfect heart? Jesus shows me daily that I need to remain in Him; to be constantly abiding in Him, that I may not be unfruitful! I need to be filled with Him, always. I thank God that He continues to empty me of myself, and to strip me of those evil things which remain in my heart... the uncleanness, the selfishness, the pride, and the desire to do things my way, on my own.
Jesus is the only one that I don't want to be independent of!! Yet, if that is the case, why do I try so often to pull away in order to try to show Him that I can stand on my own two feet?
I stumble, I fall, I fail.
I get so focused on the things around me that I don't realize I am falling or drowning. Its as though I'm trying to show Him, "See? I can do it!", thinking that He will be proud of me.....but I seem to forget that He calls me only to abide and to yield and to remain moldable in His hands. And the attempt to be "self-suffiient" or to find my own way accomplishes nothing more than breaking His heart.
Jesus, forgive me! Please help me to remain feeble & weak in myself, and in the palm of Your hand. May my only strength and only sufficiency be found in You & maintained by You. I want only to be able to stand in Your true grace, and to stand by faith.
Like Romans 14:4 says, "Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand."
Jesus, You are the ONLY one who is able to keep me from falling!! Please help me to be independent from all other things: from people and other 'stability' that I may seek. Help me to be fully, wholly, completely dependent on You. Lord, help me to rid myself of every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares me, that I may run WITH ENDURANCE the race You have set before me. Thank You for Your cross, Jesus, for Your blood, and for Your great Love!
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