Endeavor.

So... this morning I was reading in 1 Peter, and was seriously just struck by God.
How He IS who He says He is.

It may seem elementary... and it is, I guess... but it's so necessary to realize that.
I am blown away by Him. He doesn't just do--- He is.


He doesn't simply show love. He IS love.
He doesn't merely have strength or wisdom. He IS strength and wisdom.
He doesn't only do good. He IS good. 


You know how God says in Exodus, "I AM WHO I AM"?
Well... He is. 100% of the time. He is faithful when I am faithless. He cannot deny Himself.
He is the epitome of love. He is the definition of life. He is the truth. Again, He doesn't just speak truth... He IS truth.

It seems so simple, yet why can't my mind grasp that? I can get so caught up in trying to figure out details, and trying to understand& decipher everything. I want to know "who this?", "why that?", "when will"?

But I'm reminded: God is who He is. He IS. He is in the driver's seat, and He always will be, and I'm just along for the ride. I live my life, but I stop when He stops, and I go when He goes. It's like [also in Exodus] when Moses says, "God, unless Your presence goes with me, I won't leave this place."

That's me. That's what I want. I don't have some big fanciful idea of God that I used to when I was younger, "It MUST be "the Lord's will!" He must speak to me in a dream or in a vision or in a cloud, or maybe in the foam design on my cappuccino!"

I believe that, if you know God and recognize the sound of His voice, you can pretty much go forward in life& wait for Him to stop you. It's a bit much to describe concisely, but it's like this:
If my grandma asks me to pick up milk from the store, okay, sweet, I can do that. I get in my car& go. I don't need her telling me, "Okay. Go. Get in your car. Turn it on. Reverse out of the garage& turn right. Then take Harbor to Western, and turn at the light, and park in the parking lot, and go into the store& buy some milk."

She knows I have the common sense to buy milk.

Well... While we're definitely called to be entirely dependent on God, we also must realize that He made us intelligent beings when He created us in His image. We have brains that are meant to be used. We have reason& understanding& God-given wisdom& common sense. We also have the gift of prayer. Through prayer& the Bible, we see, "hear", and recognize God's voice.


Yes, sometimes He chooses to speak in a way that is darn-near audible.
Sometimes He speaks VERY specifically into situations or decisions.
When I was praying about moving back to Spain, God spoke specifically to me through a book I was reading. I NEEDED a hard-line answer, because I was so unsure of what was right. So He gave one. But I think, in general, we don't always need big huge "signs" like that.



If He's saying "no", we can recognize it.... but it's up to us to choose what to do with that knowledge. If He says "yes", we can act on it. Or, if you're like me, ask at least 50 more times, "Okay, are you sure, God? Really? I mean... That was a yes, right? Like, a yes-yes, or a maybe-yes?"


But... I'm just ridiculous. So don't do that. Listen, and follow Him.


SO... all that to say: I want to go when God says "Go" and to stop when He says "Stop." or "Wait."
And to trust Him implicitly, knowing He will never lead me into a trap, or into danger, and He's never going to sit back and watch while I suffer. If I'm suffering in something, He's in it right there with me, because He is involved in His kids' lives. And that's cool.


Finally, in all of this reading& thinking this morning, I've realized the two qualities I want most in life:
Integrity& meekness.


integrity:
an undivided or unbroken completeness; totality with nothing wanting.


"O LORD, who may abide in Your tent? Who may dwell on Your holy hill? He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, and speaks truth in his heart.
He does not slander with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend."   [Ps. 15:1-3]


meekness: 
1) mildness of disposition.
2) gentleness of spirit.
3) strength under control.



"Who is wise& understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom."   [James 3:13]