Constant Ideas.

My brain won't ever shut off. Ever.
Sometimes that's awesome; sometimes its tiring.
Right now it isn't necessarily tiring; just surprising.

Please excuse me while I think out loud for a minute.

My goals, hopes, and plans are always changing. I was working at the thrift store just over a month ago. I was involved in youth ministry. I was planning to move to Colorado within the next 4 months. Then I got a new job at my chiropractor's office, which put my Colorado plans on the backburner for awhile. I still definitely want to go, but right now that just isn't the immediate plan. I'm here for who knows how long, working, saving money, and gaining new work experience. I'm no longer a youth leader, but still definitely involved in youth ministry. I'm no longer able to volunteer at the Way Station, because I work every weekday, but oh my goodness gracious, am I realizing how important that type of community involvement is to me!

I'll let you in on a snippet of a Skype conversation I had with a good friend last week:
"it was seriously the BEST BEST BEST way to spend my friday mornings, and i am seriously so sad about the fact that i now work on friday mornings.

but it was just so awesome to be a part of something that was so much bigger than myself, able to love on complete strangers, and able to see the power of the Holy Spirit.

there are always needy people, everywhere you go... so that's something that you can always be involved in, because everywhere in the world, people need Jesus, people need food, people need shelter, and people need just one person who is willing to give them attention& show interest toward them, even if its only for 15 minutes.

we are relational beings... God created us to live among each other, to love one another, and to function as a body. and too many people go through life completely alone, not knowing God and not realizing there is a Savior who died for them because He loves them DEEPLY and passionately... and, not only that, but He knows them& is interested in their lives.

in opportunities like that [at the way station], God can deeply prove His love, compassion, and desire for people, through willing vessels-- like YOU.

there were times when i would lay hands on women and pray for them... sometimes they'd give me specific requests, sometimes they'd say "just pray for me" ... so i would. and at times, when i finished, they would be standing there crying, because apparently something the Holy Spirit said pierced them in a way i didn't know. and its so awesome, because i KNOW it wasn't anything i said or anything i thought or something i tried to manufacture... it was just that God needed a voice to speak His heart, so He used mine... and even though i will never see some of those people again, i know that God can continue to speak to them and prove His character& concern toward them, HIMSELF.

God has given me a passion and an opportunity to be involved in something like that, and i refuse to let those opportunities go to waste because i'm in a job that takes all my time earning money for myself!

i know i NEED to work, and i need to be responsible and provide for myself... and i agree with that and am fine with it... God has provided work for me. but at the same time, i will never ever be the type of person who works 24/7 because i just need more money. i love people, love relationships with human beings, love helping others... and that is a goal i have in my life, for my future... to be involved in things that are "humanitarian" in nature, but in which i can use as an opportunity to share the truth and love of Jesus Christ."

 
 
And that's honestly how it was at the Way Station. I don't say any of this, or post that conversation as a means to brag or make it sound as if this is something I've been able to manufacture. Like I said in that conversation, I know this passion is God-given. Without Jesus, I would not just sit around, thinking of ways I can get involved and help people out, and share Jesus' love and truth with them.

I know I can be a selfish person. I can earn money and see it as "my" money, because I worked long& hard for it. I can decide how I'm going to spend it, and spend it all on myself or on ways to secure my future.
There is nothing wrong with being responsible with your money, with paying your bills, with providing for yourself, and with buying yourself something you like... like a CD or a Greenbay Packers license plate frame. Haha. But I don't want to be so self-centered that all my money is spent on me and my needs& wants. Some people might say I should not spend my money on new tires or that I should sell my car or something else along those lines. If God were to call me to that, I hope& pray that I would respond to Him immediately and give up whatever it is He tells me to. However, it isn't something I'd do out of guilt or obligation, or to keep up appearances of being a "good" Christian. God calls people to specific lifestyles, and I will never tell someone they're in the wrong because they enjoy nice things or, heaven forbid, go on vacations& stay in hotels once in awhile. That can get me into a whole tangent about our hearts& motives, but that'll take ages, so I'll refrain.

But I want to always realize and remember that my money belongs to God. He has provided it for me, by providing a job and work hours. Everything I have and everything I am belongs to Him, and I want to use my time, energy, and efforts in a way that draws me closer to Jesus and makes me more like Him, and that is effective for His glory and His kingdom.
 
So, if God has given me a job and a way to earn money, and also enough time to be involved in other activities, I want Him to guide them. Community outreach, particularly for people who are in physical need, is a way I can do both. I can give my time, energy, and attention to people who just need a smile, a listening ear, a prayer or word of advice, and a hug. I can give financially to keep these types of organizations running. More importantly than anything, I can share my heart with people who need to know that there is a loving Savior of their souls who loves them, who forgives them, who has redeemed them, and who desires to restore them. A God who loves to build, to restore, and to renew. A God who is incredibly interested in their lives, their hurts, their needs. A God who wants to bring healing mentally, physically, relationally, emotionally, and spiritually. A God who gave absolutely everything He had-- who offered His only Son-- in order to give us a path directly to Himself, because He loves us so much that He wants to be directly connected to us, to lead us, to share His life and His heart with us. A God who loves to spend time with us, who enjoys us, and who offers us wholeness, peace, joy, and contentment in this life, and more so in eternity.
 
People so often turn to alternate routes to remove their problems, but drugs& alcohol & other things do not remove the problem, they just remove the memory of those problems--- and only for a short time. Once the buzz wears off, the problems remain, and sometimes in greater force. I have talked to and prayed with people ravaged by addiction and disease, whom have been discarded and disdained by the government. "Fine" citizens look down on these ones as the leeches of society; people just looking for a handout.
And I am not able to say whether those accusations are accurate or not. I'm sure there are many different verdicts in many different situations. But that is not my concern.

It is not up to me to determine which of the people in need actually deserve help.
It is up to me to love as Jesus loved, to extend a hand to help, to be His hands, His feet, His mouth, His heart. It is so, so, so much easier said than done, but that is what I want. Whether people are addicted to drugs and sex and alcohol and self-mutilation is not something I can walk up and change by saying, "Hey, stop doing that. Its wrong and its screwing you up." But a true word or a message of hope from the Man who died to rescue them from those handcuffs is something that can change that. He can break those ties.

This is obviously not a message that is to only be shared with homeless people, or people who are living beneath an "acceptable" social status. Its something that can be shared with classmates, strangers I somehow always manage to randomly meet, coworkers, friends over coffee shop conversations, family, myself...

A few people in my life have encouraged me to become a counselor and, to be honest, I had already thought about it a few times... sadly, the idea of THAT much schooling scares me off, and I really do want to be a nutritionist. I believe getting my foot in the door with nutrition is something that can go such a long way, that can help in this country and in other countries, and that transcends any social class or barrier. Part of my reason for wanting to move to Colorado is that #1) Its one of the healthiest states, #2) It s colleges& universities have great nutrition programs, #3) It has a lot of opportunites as far as internships and job placements go, and #4) Its just plain beautiful and full of activities& adventures waiting to happen.
 

While counseling would be interesting& rewarding, Jesus has reminded me recently that I do not have to go to school and get a degree in order to share the truth of His word. I can share His message and His hope, His purpose, His heart, and His redeeming& pursuing love with people no matter what, any time of the day, in any circumstance. So, while I may never become a counselor, I want to always let Jesus focus my eyes upward& outward... Upon Him first and unceasingly, and upon others.

If that is through nutrition, community outreach, humanitarian organizations, or conversations over coffee, that is my goal. All of those are attainable and moderately active in my life, and I believe they always will be.