Process.

I am currently in the middle of about five blogs right now.
FIVE.
Good golly.
I'd say about 3-4 of them are on the same topic, but from different angles, with different perspectives and ideas. So, one of the blogs might basically be 3-in-1, meaning it'll probably be pretty dang long. Maybe I should just write a book on it. And, if this collaborative blogging effort ever takes off, it'll really be long, but it will have more of a complete perspective.

Usually, I can sit down with about an hour's worth of time, and just type the whole thing out in one fell swoop. These last 2 weeks have been proving otherwise, and I realized why on Friday afternoon:



I think they are topics that have so much depth to them, and so much detail and varied perspectives [at least in my life], that I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all. I am in process. And it takes awhile for me to process the things God is teaching and showing me. A lot of the processing comes through my own time with Jesus, just seeking Him and sitting at His feet and waiting on Him, but it also partially comes from awesome, fantastic, eye-opening conversations that I have with other people who have the same general idea, but different perspectives and experiences-- and also with people who have a totally different idea or take on something.


As I was telling my mom on Friday afternoon, during a long, rainy drive to LA, right now-- at this specific point in my life-- I feel more myself than I've ever felt before.

I'm alive.

But not just "alive" as far as having a beating heart, breathing lungs, and blood coursing through my veins.

I mean "alive" as far as being so aware of Jesus, of His presence in my life, His value in me, His identity in me, His love for me, His plans for me, His purpose in my life, His redemption and saving grace given for me, and just His great, inexplicable, uncontainable love, and how He loves me.

Its as though these last few weeks for me have almost been like a honeymoon. Drawing away from many other "extras" [except work, of course, because that is an obligation and a responsibility I can't just opt out of], to just get away and seek God. During this time, He has been speaking to me a lot, about a lot of different things in my life, and just about life in general.


He is showing me how much progress we've made in ways I didn't even know about. He has been working relentlessly in my heart, mind, and spirit, making drastic changes, healing me, giving me new insight& perspective, and I didn't even notice it until faced with a situation recently. Its absolutely incredible and I am so ridiculously glad to know that God is working, moving, changing, and shaping all the time, and does it so naturally and consistently that sometimes I'm not immediately aware.

"You dance over me while I am unaware. You sing all around, but I never hear the sound. Lord, I'm amazed by You and how You love me!"
[One of the best songs ever, and the story of my life.]

So.... all that vagueness to say: That is why I've been talking about so many blogs, but posting none of them. They're in the works, they'll hopefully be done soon, and they won't be nearly as vague as this. :)